radiothebook Chapter 249 A New Faith
Chapter 249 A New Faith
Chapter 249 A New Faith
Margaret tells Kendrick that the Dewdrop Cult is fake, that Felix is deceiving him, and that it's all a lie.
Kendrick was able to suppress his desire entirely because he had taken the holy dew.
Holy Dew, on the other hand, has nothing to do with holiness; it is simply an alchemical elixir.
Kendrick had been exposed to alchemy and knew that any alchemical substance had side effects.
The side effect of the holy dew is that it can numb the human soul.
Generally speaking, the side effects of alchemical drugs are not stable.
The fact that Saint Dew can fix side effects is enough to demonstrate its miraculous properties.
Of course, Saint Dew may have other unstable side effects.
However, for Kendrick, the numbness of his soul was better than the torment of his perverse desires.
He would rather become an idiot than continue being a deranged killer.
Therefore, Kendrick intended to pretend he knew nothing and continue receiving Felix's "special training".
But Margaret told him that he could still be saved.
He simply craved attention, and she was willing to look at him.
Margaret tried to prove her point with a kiss.
Kendrick has kissed many women.
From a very young age, he wanted to get rid of his murderous desires, so he thought of replacing them with sexual desire.
Therefore, he spent money to go to pleasure houses to find prostitutes.
The prostitute said she loved Kendrick, and Kendrick believed her.
But when they kissed, or even went further, he noticed that the other person was staring intently at the silver coins in his pocket.
In addition, Kendrick also slept with a village girl.
She was a fat woman, and quite unattractive, but Kendrick had no right to judge others.
When Kendrick, a stranger, passed through their village, the woman asked him for a favor.
She said she was over thirty years old but had always been lonely. No man wanted to approach her, and even the Qiqiao Festival rejected her.
She hoped that Kendrick could help her grow and let her understand things beyond loneliness.
Kendrick felt sorry for the other party, so he agreed.
That night, they met in the grain shed.
The woman kept saying she loved him, but she refused to look him in the eye.
The next morning, Kendrick's thighs were numb from being pressed down, let alone any pleasure.
He suspected the woman was lying; she didn't love him and was just using him as a tool.
Perhaps in her eyes, Kendrick was no different from a smooth stick on the ground; no one would love a stick.
They never saw each other again, and Kendrick didn't want to see them again either.
However, Margaret's kiss brought him a completely different feeling.
When she kissed him, she didn't stare at his pocket where he hid his money, nor did she look away; instead, she simply closed her eyes.
Looking into those eyes so close yet tightly closed, Kendrick felt as if he were staring back at her.
Kendrick immediately realized that she had closed her eyes unconsciously.
It turns out that when a kiss gets too intense, a person's eyes will unconsciously close.
A tingling sensation instantly spread to every part of my body.
This feeling was like the thrill he experienced when he killed someone.
He had clearly taken the holy dew, and his emotions had clearly been suppressed by the drug.
But why do I still have this feeling?
Kendrick understood.
Margaret was right.
Kendrick didn't crave to kill; he just craved to be watched.
When he takes someone's life, the victim will instinctively look at him, the perpetrator.
It was that gaze that gave Kendrick a sense of self-worth.
And that's the feeling he enjoys!
Kendrick was so moved he shed tears. I'm not a pervert!
Without anyone noticing, he closed his eyes as well.
He could feel Margaret's disordered breathing; he knew she was nervous.
Just like how she grabbed his clothes haphazardly without thinking, leaving her looking bewildered.
Kendrick was the same; this overwhelming joy had long since overwhelmed all his reason.
Right now, all he could think about was the woman in front of him.
He had previously longed to kill her, and in the process, he would ask her how she felt.
But right now, he couldn't bear to see her suffer even the slightest harm.
Kendrick realized he was captivated by her.
From now on, he will probably become her slave.
But Kendrick didn't care; he was willing to be a lowly maggot at her feet.
The kiss ended sadly and quickly; Margaret loosened Kendrick's clothes and took a few steps back.
Kendrick could tell from her slightly trembling lips that her nervousness hadn't subsided, and her originally pure and beautiful face was now like a blazing furnace.
Kendrick didn't know what to do.
Is kneeling down and licking her shoes to express his willingness to give everything for her?
Or should he commit suicide to atone for the sins he has committed in the past?
Kendrick was in a daze; he had never imagined that someone could be so important to him.
How should he express his importance? The Herald Academy had never taught him these things.
He just stood there, blankly, without saying a word.
After a long while, Margaret laughed a few times with her rosy cheeks.
She seemed very happy.
She clutched the cross necklace to her chest.
She asked him:
"Kendrick, have you turned back into yourself?"
Revert back?
of course not!
Kendrick shook his head vigorously:
"I have become a completely new version of myself, different from any version of myself I have ever been before, yet I understand myself better than any version of myself I have ever been before."
That must be your original self.
Margaret nodded slightly.
"The Cognitionist school not only believes that the universe had a primordial moment of birth, but also that the human soul has a specific shape."
It already had a shape when it was first born.
"As a person grows up, the outside world will shape your soul into various forms, and only when your soul returns to its original state can you truly understand yourself."
"In our sect, this is a rare achievement, few people can reach it. Kendrick, perhaps you really are suited for the Firstborn Church."
Kendrick shook his head: "I don't care about any sect, whether it's the Firstborn Cult or the Dewdrop Cult, or even God himself. My God! I understand! Sister Margaret! I have a new faith!"
"A new faith?"
"That's right! You are my faith! You are my god!"
However, Margaret seemed very unhappy after hearing this.
Upon seeing this, Kendrick felt apprehensive:
"Sister Margaret, what's wrong?"
"As a nun of a particular sect, I naturally hope that others share my faith, but I also know that I cannot force them."
But I'm very unhappy that you called me Sister Kendrick. I wish you would call me by my first name.
"Me? Can I really do it—?"
"I'm just a murderer," Kendrick thought sadly. "I carry countless sins on my shoulders; I am a symbol of filth."
"I allow it!"
Upon hearing this, Kendrick's heart nearly jumped out of his throat.
He moved his Adam's apple and stammered:
"Margaret—"
Margaret nodded with satisfaction: "Also, I don't want to be your faith, nor do I want to be your god."
"But"
"—What I hope is,"
Margaret interrupted him, not giving him a chance to explain.
"We are able to be on an equal footing."
Kendrick felt he was unworthy.
Even though he had agreed to Margaret's request back then, he still couldn't help but look up at her with a sense of admiration.
Kendrick didn't hide anything from Margaret, even this.
Margaret said she would try to help Kendrick gradually correct his behavior.
She will gradually swallow up all of Kendrick's inferiority complex.
Kendrick was convinced of this without a doubt, and he firmly believed whatever Margaret said.
That was the day he confessed everything to Margaret.
He admitted that he was an assassin and that he had come to the Principality of the Holy Envoy in order to assassinate Felix.
Margaret accepted him; she said she accepted everything about him.
Even as a devout believer, she did not want Kendrick to do anything against her teachings.
However, she also said that she shouldn't use her own beliefs to judge Kendrick's past.
She wanted Kendrick to change, and was willing to help him change, but only after that kiss.
She supported Kendrick in settling all previous debts and liabilities.
Kendrick was grateful, but perhaps Margaret only intended to use him to eliminate an enemy within the Church. However, he was not in Margaret's true thoughts, and whatever she thought, he accepted it.
Therefore, he chose to assassinate Felix.
That day, Kendrick waited for Felix at the side door of the altar.
When Felix saw Kendrick, he stared at him with a puzzled expression and questioned him about why he was there.
Kendrick invited the other person to the room where he had spoken with Margaret earlier, but Margaret was no longer there.
Then, Kendrick conveyed to Felix his intention to kill him.
Felix was indeed an extraordinary person; he was only surprised for a moment before he understood what Kendrick meant.
He believed that Kendrick must have been provoked by something, so he took out the Holy Dew, intending to help Kendrick overcome it.
Kendrick exposed him on the spot, revealing the true nature of Saint Lu.
He also stated that he was not there to seek thrills.
Felix seemed to realize immediately that he could no longer persuade Kendrick, so he turned around and fled out of the room.
He seemed to be about to make a sound, but Kendrick reacted quickly.
Felix uttered only one syllable before Kendrick, mimicking a rehearsal of "Crimson Cravings," precisely and swiftly slit Felix's neck.
At that moment, Kendrick felt no pleasure from the killing.
He understood that he had been cured.
This further demonstrates that Margaret gazed at him more intently than anyone else he had ever met.
Kendrick looked at the wound; he knew Felix had suffered a fatal injury and would not live long if left untreated.
But he didn't want Felix to die like that.
Mr. Mosley told him that the mission also had the intention of making the Block Alliance famous.
Therefore, during the assassination, one should make as much noise as possible and have his personal symbol engraved on the target.
Kendrick, chosen by Felix as the caretaker of the archives, was informed of some secret passages within the Vatican and thus knew how to reach the top of the church.
So he planned to move Felix to the top of the church and let Felix die in front of everyone.
The journey to the destination is naturally fraught with danger.
Once discovered, he will be in extreme danger.
Kendrick had already gained immense power from "The Crimson Craving," and according to the book, killing him made him stronger, and he would be able to fight with ever-growing strength.
But he didn't want that to happen.
He no longer craves killing; now, he's just completing his mission.
To bring his career as an assassin to a perfect conclusion.
Besides, Felix isn't a good person either.
Despite his high status as a patriarch, he immediately persuaded Kendrick to kill someone for him.
He himself used alchemical drugs to control the minds of his followers in order to obtain sufficiently loyal puppets.
Felix was using his holy faith to satisfy his filthy desires.
Of course, this does not mean that Kendrick's actions were just.
He believed he was destined for divine retribution, but that's another story.
Finally, Kendrick successfully and quietly moved Felix to the top of the church.
In this process, he utilized the innate superpowers he had developed through "Crimson Lust".
The narrator of this book, Nebor Neal, was troubled by his innate ability throughout his life and never had the freedom to control it.
Kendrick in the past was even better than Neibo Neil.
But Kendrick at that time was not like that.
Having previously been a murderer, he was not as afraid of killing as Nebor Neil.
Margaret cured his mental illness, which meant he was no longer tempted by the urge to kill.
So much so that he was able to face this power with an extremely calm attitude.
These unexpected events allowed him to achieve a state of complete control over the portion of this power he had already mastered.
Although Kendrick is honest and simple, he always learns things very quickly.
This change made him immediately realize how to unleash the potential of this ability.
He can see other people's weaknesses.
It's not just about seeing weaknesses, but about seeing a brief rehearsal of how to kill the opponent.
If the target he is spying on does not notice him, he can see how he approaches the other person silently.
This will not only help Kendrick with his assassinations, but also with his stealth!
Finally, following the clues in "Crimson Cravings," he arrived at the top of the church without anyone noticing.
He planned to kill Felix by throwing him, but before that, he had to carve the symbol.
His symbol was "benevolence," and Mr. Mosley told him that the symbol had many meanings.
Friendly, compassionate, and helpful.
If he didn't have a history of murder, then the meaning of this word would fit.
And at that time, he did indeed give up this hobby.
If he is truly qualified to embrace a brand new future, he is willing to take "benevolence" as his creed.
In short, he carried out the assassination perfectly as Mr. Mosley had requested.
Several days have passed since that incident.
At this moment, he was sitting with Margaret in the private property of a priest.